also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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