my mouth tastes like poor choices
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
