People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
