I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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