She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
