ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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