Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
