There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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