my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
