Swine flu is the new snow day.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
