I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize