And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
