just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
