Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i think my tv is drunk
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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