He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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