Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
