it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
