Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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