the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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