Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I did not marry a roomba.
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