how can u be prego again
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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