in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
