I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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