Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
