so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
