i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
