You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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