That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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