Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
