He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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