Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
