My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
