redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
