the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
