After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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