I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
