I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
