you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
