no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
