either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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