She announced her abortion via fbk
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
