That's when you crack a 10am beer
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize