I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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