I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
