There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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