So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
