im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
