The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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