There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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