She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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