Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
