So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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