He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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