so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
