Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need to stop coming to work sober
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize