Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
