shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
