It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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