Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
