Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
