i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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