Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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