I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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