So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
