can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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