how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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